I be Uldah Rokaku, mighty warlord of dusty star tribe. Spirits of old ancestors speak to me through sacred reactor smoke and strong beer of wisdom. When Uldah walks, weak miners shake like little fedos in cold space wind. My people say “Uldah, why you drink so much ritual beer?” and I say “because stars become louder after third barrel"
I ride together with mighty tribe ofChief Grug, great warrior chief of broken ships and strong forehead. Together weprotect holy space worms from evil greedy miners who dig-dig-dig all day long with dirty laser machines. Miners have no respect for sacred worm spirits. They only want rocks. Always rocks. Very sad sickness of soul.
Every moon cycle we gather around sacred fire in cargo bay and perform holy beer ritual. Shamans drink until they can hear ancient ancestors screaming through static noises of fleet comms. Sometimes spirit visions come. Sometimes Chief Grug vomit inside command chair. Both are blessings from ancestors.
But deep inside mighty heart of Uldah Rokaku lives greatest dream of all. One day I shall take beautiful Jinx Beirutas my sacred mating partner beneath red warrior moons. Together we make strong children with mighty muscles that make BIGGEST BADABADABOOM.