yo wassup im Badesalz Balthasar and i fly space ships for my glorious boss Aiko Danuja who is smartest woman alive probably.

some haters say im just her slave but thats fake news because she only tells me what to do every day, takes all my isk and screams at me when i forget ammo again. thats called teamwork.

i started my eve online career after drinking 3 monster energys and accidentally joining an miner corp because i thought “ore redistribution specialist” sounded cool. now im proud highsec warrior. miners are the enemy of fun

i dont do elite pvp because thats scary and people shoot back there. highsec miner hunting is more my tactical level. one time i accidentally concorded myself 4 times in one day because i forgot safety settings but aiko said sacrifice is part of the mission.

outside the game i enjoy cigarettes, random space drugs, chicken nuggets and meeting handsome men in jita local. im proudly bi and very open minded. nowadays im basically aikos loyal dog and emotional support goblin. if aiko says “jump” i say “okay bosslady”. <3

my daily routine:

wake up confused
smoke something mysterious
orbit jita for 2 hours
scan miners while breathing heavily
lose catalyst to concord
get insulted by aiko
flirt with men in local
pass out watching ship spinning videos

people call me stupid but thats just anti miner discrimination. braincells are temporary but miner tears are forever. o7

Dashboard

Stats

Kills38

Losses1

Efficiency97%

ISK Destroyed14.16b

ISK Lost10.29m

ISK Efficiency100%

Solo Kills16

Solo Losses1

NPC Losses1

Blob Factor6.66