Elmer is the unofficial, totally unqualified, and deeply questionable mascot of the Stuff ’n’ Things corporation. A bright-feathered space duck with a flight suit two sizes too big and a helmet that never quite seals properly, Elmer drifts cheerfully through New Eden doing exactly what the corp does best: stuff… and also things.
No one is quite sure where Elmer came from. Some say he wandered out of a wormhole. Others claim he was accidentally cloned after someone spilled Quafe on a DNA sample. Elmer himself insists he was “promoted internally,” though no one can find any records of this.
What Elmer does know is that he loves action. Mining lasers? Great. Fleet fights? Even better. Random roaming operations with absolutely no plan? That’s Elmer’s favorite. If there’s something happening, Elmer wants to be involved—preferably while quacking excitedly over comms and pressing buttons that may or may not be important.
Despite his enthusiasm, Elmer has one fatal flaw:
He hates OPSEC.
Secrets, need-to-know information, operational security—Elmer finds it all terribly boring. If you tell Elmer a fleet plan, there’s a decent chance he’ll immediately repeat it loudly in local chat, write it on a station wall, or accidentally broadcast it over open comms while asking where the snacks are.
To Elmer, information wants to be free. Especially if it helps him make new friends.
Still, the pilots of Stuff ’n’ Things wouldn’t have it any other way. Elmer embodies the corp spirit perfectly: enthusiastic, chaotic, slightly reckless, and always ready to undock.
After all, in New Eden there are many serious corporations with strict discipline and careful planning.