From the personal blog of Ralph, your anal dwelling midget savior.

Ralph The Anal Dwelling Prophet of New Eden

Greetings, pilots of New Eden. My name is Ralph, and you will praise my name. My permanent residence is in the asshole of Dome Rawinthebutt, (my profile picture was taken from within her colon) who is the adoptive daughter of Akanamon, with whom I "travel" frequently. Should you see him in system, know that you will praise my name with vigor and righteous joy.

From time to time, I leave my permanent residence to reside in the asshole of willing or unwilling parties. If you praise my name appropriately, you can choose whether or not I will reside in your chocolate starfish, and for how long. I have been using a file on my nails, and it could be a pleasant experience for you if you choose wisely.

I am the bringer of everything good. I am the harbinger of anything bad. You will praise my name.

When an enemy descends on you and relieves you of your hard earned ship, it is because I willed it to be. When you succeed against an adversary, it is because I took favor on you. If you get an amazing loot drop, you will praise my name.

My favor extends to real life as well. All praise my holy name. The Ralph abides.

Fly safe, and praise my holy name.