You know what sunshine? There was going to be a party for you. A big party, that all your friends were invited to. We invited your best friend, your dog. Of course, he couldn't come because you ate him. All your other friends couldn't come either, because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable person with no friends".
Happy face meets pillow. frowns upon wake-up. Feed frowny face supper, then work state sponsored contentment