First petition in EVE by hfo ceo
I cannot post the first player submitted petition, but CCP Zrakor submitted the very first petition after EVE went live which went as follows:

Subject
Yay I AM THE FIRST TO COMPLAIN
Petition
*Whine*

The answer, by GM Panzer:

Dear Zrakor,
We want to congratulate you on being the first petitioneer in EVE. On the other hand we want warn you that if you ever send in a petition again your account will be deactivated, you will be banned from the game and exiled from Iceland.




Grey Stormshadow: If I'm in my rifter flying with speed of light and press brakes...tail lights go red (yes rifter has those), but what will the guy behind me actually see?
Gealbhan: Uranus, after his head goes through it.



“Here’s a Rubik’s cube, go f%$^ yourself,”
-Kristoffer Touborg (CCP Soundwave)
http://www.pcgamer.com/2012/06/25/eve-online-devs-on-dayz-elder-scrolls-online-and-whatd-make-them-quit-the-games-industry/