Dear Mrs Johnson, We regret to inform you of the death of your husband, Pfc. Richard T. Johnson, weapons specialist aboard the U.S.S. DICKBUTT. The vessel was tragically destroyed along with all crew after his commander consumed Twenty Seven shots of whiskey and warped into enemy-held territory. Please know your husband performed valiantly, reloading the Festival Launchers that were fitted for the occasion. In accordance with his contract, you will receive his share of all cargo recovered from the wreckage. Condolences, CONCORD
You will receive: Large Shield Extender x1 Barium Firework x16 Exotic Dancers(deceased), Female x3