- Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died. - Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone. - If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1 - When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage. - Chuck Norris's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris. - Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life. - Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. - Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes. - Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from any1 - When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris - When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital - Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded