WE ARE DYSLEXIC OF BORG. YOUR RESISTANCE IS LAUGHABLE.


There is little of significance actually known about bulletproofmitch. He was born in the year of the gun, and is known to suffer from multiple personality disorder. This knowledge is of little use in trying to understand him however, as all three personalities are virtually identical with the exception of their respective opinions on what exactly constitutes "perfect breasts".
For some time Mitch disappeared completely off the grid until just recently, when he re-surfaced flying a ship he reportedly won in an epic 6 day long arm wrestling contest and sporting wicked facial tattoos that none of his personalities remember getting, leading many experts to wonder at the possibility of an as yet undiscovered fourth persona.


Strength is good, Speed is better, but Surprise is best." - Sun Tzu