KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I- There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is
no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian
Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a
Golden Worm.
II- A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document
Numbering System.
III- A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off
Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Bog on a Friday; this Devotive
Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of
Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of
Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of
animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV- A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the
Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original
Snub.
V- A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads.
IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA!
PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED
WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ERIS (not much)
The Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity -- She was shown as a
grotesque woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her garment is ripped and
torn, and as concealing a dagger in Her Bosom. Actually, most women look
pale and ghastly when concealing a chilly dagger in their bosoms.
Her geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She was
the twin of Aries and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was the
daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter or wife of
Chaos, or both), and Nyx’s brother, Erebus, and whose brothers and sisters
include Death, Doom, Mockery, Misery and Friendship. And that she begat
Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods and goddesses like that.
One day Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She really
created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had always liked
the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with historic matters. "They
were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you know."
Suffice it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is mischievous,
and does get a little bitchy at times.
ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE
DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE,
OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY
APPROPRIATE TO 5.