Professional asteroid whisperer. I stare at rocks for hours and call it “gameplay.” My ship is held together by strip miners, caffeine, and the delusion that CONCORD will save me this time. I don’t chase fights—I become content by existing. Local knows my name. Gankers know my schedule. If you think mining is boring, that’s because you’ve never felt true fear while alt-tabbed. I am not AFK. I am strategically inattentive.
Immortal space billionaire. Still can’t find my drones. Flies dangerous ships badly and considers insurance a combat strategy.