A little ditty called "I'm going to kill you so I can ignore you in Heaven" by Bill Bailey

When you left me, I did more than just cry
I injected battery acid into my eye
I hope my pain, my excruciating pain, and my subsequent blindness
Will deter you from any further acts of unkindness

I'm gonna follow you, until the day that you die
I'll be watching you at your workplace, through my one working eye
I'll be outside your house, and the grocery store
You'll be signing so many restraining orders that your fingers will get sore

And one day we both will be dead
I'll make it look like an accident, a double-suicide
There's no way we can survive, as our cars plunge into the quarry
And now we're in Heaven, I'll ignore you... and the you'll be sorry!